Checking in once more

I still need to do a day by day post but not for the price this hotel charges. I had to get a quick computer fix but it's going to be a short one. Updates- we're at the White Swan. It's a beautiful hotel but I miss Jinan. We were a bit spoiled there. The difference in prices is amazing. The last night in Jinan, we along with the other family took our guide out for dinner. For 9 people and 2 babies, it came out to 216 yuan which is about 30 or so dollars. Last night, Mike, Jason and I went out to dinner at the White Swan and dinner was over $100 American - ouch!!!! We started looking for cheaper places today*S* I need to save that money for souvenirs. Jason's been adventurous and tried shrimp, fried leaves, and chocolate mousse -didn't like any of it. He loves the chicken nuggets, doughy pretzels and the bread. Jess is doing awesome! She's sitting for a short period of time in a stroller that we borrowed from Sherry's Place (store near hotel), sleeps through the night, eats almost everything, is getting better about Mike getting closer to her (still can't hold her without her screaming), and is playing with Jason. She's still a Mama's girl for sure but I can at least walk a couple of inches away. When I get back, I'll update my packing list with notes for people who may travel the same places we did. For those going to Beijing, Jinan and White Swan in Guangzhou, you really don't need a lot of stuff (of course it also depends on the age of the baby). I had to buy some summer clothes because I wasn't expecting it to be quite so hot here - high 70's. I sent my jeans to the cleaners. I'd always heard that the clothes could be shrunk because they use hot water so you need to be careful - well, either they stretched my jeans or I lost some weight because the darn things are falling off me. Guess I shouldn't complain about that *S*

Checking in from China

This will have to be quick because I'm using the business center and hoping that Jess isn't waking up in the room with Mike & Jason. I'll do a day by day post later but wanted to let everyone know that we have Jess and she is wonderful! We got her a day earlier than we'd thought which was exciting and a bit overwhelming. I can't believe the improvements we've seen in just a couple of days. She wasn't walking at all but could stand. The next day she walked holding 2 hands and now she'll walk holding one. She's mastered the bottle (wasn't able to hold it herself the first day) and her hand:eye coordination has gotten better with all the cheerios she's been eating. She is very attached to me but won't let Mike or Jason near her. When we visited the orphanage, she let the nannies hold her for a minute but almost immediately held her arms out to me - she knows her mama!!! She fits perfectly into the 9 month clothing I brought but the 12 months fits if I roll the pants up. She crawls around mostly, has mastered peek a boo and loves to clap. She's always holding her hands up for kisses. I can't post pictures yet since this isn't my computer and I can't download from my camera. As soon as I'm home I will share. She's beautiful. Well, I'd better get upstairs before she wakes up and finds me missing. The whole floor will be woken up-she has quite the pair of lungs.

Countdown!!!

We're leaving tomorrow! I can't believe it's finally time!!! Mike and I spent a long time packing last night. He brought what felt like the heaviest suitcase to UPS to weigh and it was 27 pounds - plenty of room left!!! Looks like JJ wants to come with us. I'm psyched Lynn is able to join us for part of our trip. She'll be meeting us in Hong Kong. We get to finally see Jessica on Monday. No more time to write - gotta finish getting ready.

Counting down
The countdown is on and of course I get sick. Well, at least it's now and not 2 weeks from now when we'll be traveling. I've rearranged my facial, eyebrow waxing and hair appointments. I didn't think they'd send us at the end of February so when I made all my appointments, I thought I'd have plenty of time. Next week is going to be super busy. I set up a time at Make and Take Kitchen so I could assemble some meals to have frozen when we get back. I called and let our credit card company know we'd be traveling as others have said it's good to do. Some people really don't think before they speak. The guy at the credit card company asked me if it were cheaper to "buy" a child in a foreign country that it is in the US. Sorry, I am not buying a child. I would have gotten into it more but I'm sick and my throat hurts so it's really difficult to talk. I just wanted to scream.

I found out from Lynn she may not be able to come with us which is really disappointing. I know she'd been really looking forward to it and I know Jason was also really looking forward to someone being there to hang with him. I haven't broken the news to him yet. I've been friends with Lynn for a long time (in deference to her, I won't say how long *S*) and I was looking forward to sharing this experience with her.

Travel Plans!!!!!



We got our itinerary from our agency. There are 3 families in total in our group. One family is going to the same province we are; the other family we'll meet in Beijing and then again in Guangzhou.



Day 1: Fly to Beijing from Boston through Chicago. We stay at the Wang Fu Jing Hotel. It's right outside Tian An Men Square and the Forbidden City.

Day 2: Sightseeing at the Great Wall and going to see an acrobatic show.

Day 3: Morning sightseeing the Summer Palace and off to Jinan in the afternoon. We're staying at the Quancheng Hotel.

Day 4: MEET THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!! Registration and notarization. I don't see a lot of sleep coming my way the night before*S*

Day 5 & 6: Local sightseeing.

Day 7: Vist the SWI. I am very thankful that we are able to do this. I know so many SWIs don't allow it and I think this one even allows pictures to be taken.

Day 8: Get legal documents

Day 9: Fly to Guangzhou. Staying at the White Swan

Day 10: Local sightseeing

Day 11: Photos and physicals

Day 12: visa

Day 13: Swearing in ceremony, get visas. The rest of the group is flying back to Beijing this day. We're staying an extra night at the White Swan.

Day 14: Take train to Hong Kong. Staying at Hollywood Hotel, Disneyland.

Day 15: Hong Kong

Day 16: Hong Kong

Day 17: Fly home. We fly out on March 11 at around 6 pm and arrive in Boston on March 11 around midnight - sounds like a short trip instead of the 18 hours it really is. We're going to stay in a hotel near the airport that night rather than try to get through customs, get a cab, get to the in-laws where our car is and drive home.

Shopping, shopping, shopping!!!

I bought a carseat at Babies R Us. I'd looked at so many and heard good things about Britax so that's what I went with. I don't think Mike was thrilled that I chose the pink "Olivia" version but I had offered him the chance to come shopping with me*S* I also bought a pack and play for when we travel. We had one for Jason that we used a lot. Not so much to be used as a playpen but for somewhere to sleep when at Nana's or in hotels.

I found the Easter dress I want to buy but I need to wait until she is home to get it because we won't be getting an updated height/weight so I have no idea what will fit her. I'm going shopping with a friend while our kids are at karate. I'm going to buy some basics for the trip (onesies, socks, pants, sleepers) in different sizes and just keep the receipts.

We have TA!!!!!

We received travel approval yesterday and will be traveling either late February or early March. We were given the option of going with the next larger group in April but I don't have any intention of waiting that long! There will be another family traveling with us to the same SWI and another with us for part of the trip as they're going to a different province. We're going in next week to sign the referral packet. I am hoping that we get updated height and weight so I can do some more shopping!!! I bought two books about attachment in adoptive parenting. I should probably get cracking on those*S* Now that I have TA, we're allowed to share more info so here goes:

Chinese name: Fu Kang Chan

Name will be Jessica Kangchan

Birthdate: 9/23/05

Province: Jinan

SWI: Jinan

I'll put the height and weight once we get the updated (if we do). The info I have is from when she was 8 months old.

My Baby Shower

My mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law threw me a shower at my in-laws' house yesterday. I had a great time and Jessica has some wonderful things to come home to. I got to see some friends that I don't get to see often which was really nice.

The cake was awesome! It was a white cake with strawberry filling.

I love Edible Arrangements. The strawberries were really juice and sweet.

Present time! For anyone who knows me, they'll see that I took this picture at my home instead of at the shower. While I'm usually the picture taker, I didn't take many pics yesterday as I was too busy talking, eating and opening presents. One of my friends took a lot and she'll send them to me.

ABC's
I saw this on another blog and the owner said that people could steal it for themselves so I did.

A is for age: 39
B is for Beer: Yuck, can't get past the smell.
C is for Career: Special Needs Teacher. I'm currently working with preschoolers who are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders
D is for my Dog’s Name: I have a stuffed dog named Fluffy. We're (or rather I'm since DS would love a dog) not dog people; I'm strictly a cat person. DH would rather have no pets.
E is for Essential Item I Use Everyday: computer
F is for Favorite T.V. Show:Desperate Housewives, Days of Our Lives
G is for Favorite Game:Disney Scene It.
H is for Hometown: Melrose, MA
I is for Instruments I Play: none :( I took guitar for a little bit but didn't stick with it. I really wish I had.
J is for Favorite Juice: mango
K is for Whose Butt I’d Like To Kick: people who think teachers are overpaid and underworked
L is for the Last Place I Ate: Percy's Place
M is for Marriage:11 years in March
N is for my Name:Paula
O is for Overnight Hospital Stays: 1969? asthma attack, 1998 - c-section
P is for People I was With Today: Jason, Mike
Q is for Quote: "Life is a celebration"
R is for Biggest Regret: Not going away to college
S is for Sport: gymnastics
Tis for Time I Woke Up Today:8:90
U is for Current Underwear:Hanes
V is for Vegetable You Love:red peppers
W is for Worst Habit:Junk food.
X is for X-rays I Have Had:neck for injury in high school, foot for heel spur, chest for pneumonia
Y is for Yummy Food You Ate Today:homemade chicken cordon bleu
Z is for Zodiac:Cancer

Merry Christmas!!

We've had a wonderful Christmas but I am a little sad that our daughter isn't home yet. Mike had to work today so we opened all the non-Santa presents last night. We got up at 5:30 to watch Jason open Santa's presents and then Mike went to work, I went to bed and Jason stayed up and played. Next year, Mike's not scheduled to work which is great since it'll be Jessica's first Christmas with us. Christmas day is almost over in China now.

Merry Christmas!!

We've had a wonderful Christmas but I am a little sad that our daughter isn't home yet. Mike had to work today so we opened all the non-Santa presents last night. We got up at 5:30 to watch Jason open Santa's presents and then Mike went to work, I went to bed and Jason stayed up and played. Next year, Mike's not scheduled to work which is great since it'll be Jessica's first Christmas with us. Christmas day is almost over in China now.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

We truly have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. On 11/9, our agency got a new list of waiting children. Although we were close to referral, I took a look and fell in love with a little girl. I called Mike to the computer room to see her picture and asked if he thought we should request her file. I called the agency and was emailed her file. We brought her file to our doctor the following week, decided to ask for a match and let our social worker know. The next day (Friday), I got a call at work telling me we'd been matched! It was 2:00 and the OT was leading a group in my class. The secretary asked if I could take a call and I did since no one calls me at work if it's not important. I was so shocked! I knew that they had to have a matching meeting internally so I hadn't thought I'd hear that quickly. I think I said "awesome" and "thankyou" 100 times. Of course, I didn't think of the questions to ask until after we'd hung up*S* I went back into the classroom and told them that I have a baby girl. I went to call Mike and my mom. Mike picked up our paperwork to fill out the LOI (letter of intent) on Monday. I sent it back on Tuesday by UPS. Hopefully, the LOI will be sent to China very, very soon so we can get to the next stage (travel approval!). When I got home from school on Friday after getting the phone call, Jason asked me if he could go to his friend's house. I said that he had to see something first and showed him her picture. He was so excited! I hadn't told him we were asking to be matched before the call in case we weren't matched by our agency. I can't say very much about our daughter until we get TA (or PA but I've heard we may not get an official preapproval since we'd already gone through the review room). All I can say is that I saw this little girl, knew she was our daughter, and thank God for answering our prayers.

We're Next!!
The CCAA page finally was updated last night and the cut-off date is August 25, 2005. We're August 30 so we will get ours next month. Although I wasn't expecting one this month, I am a bit disappointed because I'd really wanted to travel at Christmas. Oh well, that's not really important; what is important is getting there and getting our daughter. There were no referrals in October - we kept waiting and waiting - so I'm thinking ours probably won't come through until December but I'll cross my fingers they'll be a little (lot) quicker. I really need to get working on finishing our projects because time is getting shorter even when it doesn't feel like it.

Chinese Adoption Vocabulary
I've found that the Chinese Adoption Community has its own vocabulary. Here are some of the terms I've come across on blogs, forums, and message boards.

Dossier - The completed certified and notarized documents that are submitted by the prospective adoptive parents to their adoption agency.

Dossier to (DTC) - The day that the adoption agency sends the completed dossier to China. This is an important day because it means that the paperchase is over and you are officially "waiting".

Gotcha Day - The day adoptive parents get to hold their child in their arms for the first time; some families call this Forever Family Day.

Ladybugs - Believed to be good luck by the Chinese adoption community. According to the story, while everyone was waiting for their referrals one spring, there were sightings across teh country of ladybugs and immediately afteward the referrals came.

Log-In Date (LID) - The log-in date is the date that the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) receives your dossier, translates it, and puts you on the wait list.

The Red Thread - An ancient Chinese belief, "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break”.

Home Study (HS) - A home study is a report that is written by a social worker who meets with the prospective adoptive parents and visits their home to determine if they are qualified to adopt.

100 Good Wishes Quilt - It is a northern China tradition for mothers to make a Bai Jia Bei (aka 100 Good Wishes Qult) from squares of fabric given by friends and family to welcome the child. The friends and family also send a wish for the baby. It is said that the quilt contains the luck and energy from everyone who contributed a piece of fabric. The adoption community has taken on this tradition for our own daughters.

Social Welfare Institute (SWI) - Orphanage

Letter of Intent (LOI) - This is a letter that accepts the referral of their child.

Travel Authorization (TA) - This is received when China approves the family to travel to China.

ACR - Age of Child Requested

AYAP - As Young As Possible

BCIS - Bureau of Citizens and Immigration Services

DOR - Date of Referral

DOT - Date of Travel

NSN - No special needs

SN - Special needs child

SW - Social worker

Referrals

I checked RQ when I got up this morning and the CCAA website has been updated. Referrals have been sent for people with LIDs through 8/9/05. That's 18 days worth so it's more than last month which is great. Of course, I wish they got further but it looks like we should get ours October or November based on this (no guarantees of course). I feel like I'm wishing the months away from referral time to referral time. Given that they're into August and we are getting much closer, I should probably get the nursery finished.

New Friends

Jason and I went to NOAH which is a no-kill shelter that brings cats to the Plymouth Petsmart for adoption. There were so many cute, cute cats and kittens. One was an American Shorthair which I'd never heard of before; they are like the domestic shorthair except they have a face like a persian - all smooshed in. He was adorable but already spoken for. Jason and I spent some time with Beanie and Cecil in a small room and decided that we couldn't choose between them - they were both coming home with us!! They were wrestling and cleaning each other - too cute!! They are 16 weeks old, have all their shots and have already been neutered.

We bought a couple toys, one of which is a fishing rod with a feather on the end. When we got home, Jason started playing with them and the cats were doing backflips trying to get the feather. He keeps saying that these are the coolest cats ever which makes me very happy. We are changing their names. Jason named one (we need to get collars to tell them apart) J.J. which he says stands for Jumbah (boobah) Jr. I prefer to think of it as standing for Jumbo Jr. which is Dumbo's real name and in keeping with our tradition of naming pets after Disney characters. I'm naming the other one but haven't decided on which name yet. I'm going to look up some of the older Disney characters and see if any jump out at me.

Rumors, Rumors, Rumors

Well, it's rumored that referrals were sent out on Friday and should hopefully be arriving at agencies early next week. Having an 8/30 LID, I certainly am not expecting ours but it is hard to resist the cry of AOA (All of August) that is resounding on the message boards. There is no clue to the cutoff date. Some say it could be 7/28 (very bad), some say a few days of August (okay but not great), some say mid-August (pretty good) and some are saying the end of August (best case*S*). 7/28-8/30 is a pretty wide range of estimates so it's anyone's guess. I usually don't wish my weekends away but I am anxious to see how far they match through.

I told Mike that I need to get another cat this morning. He asked if I wasn't sure I wanted to wait until after we go to China. Given the way that referrals have been going, I am positive I do not want to wait. If we were going next month, yes I'd wait. Given that we don't have a referral yet and probably won't have one until October at the earliest, I don't want to put off getting a kitty. Last week was so hard; I miss having a furry friend.

Very Sad - Ariel 2/14/93-9/15/06

Friday morning around 4:15, my kitty, Ariel, got up on the bed and laid down. She wasn't laying the way she usually does and smelled horrible. She was crying an unusual cry. I brought her in the bathroom and she didn't fuss about me carrying her which was very unusual. She kept gagging. I called our animal hospital and was referred to another that had emergency hours. I put her in a tupperware box with a towel just in case she peed. I didn't want to put her in the carrier because she really hates it and I wanted to be able to pet her. I could tell she wouldn't be jumping out. After being at the vets for an hour or so and taking x-rays, we found she had congestive heart failure. Best case scenario - she could live a month, worst - she could die anytime. The doctor said even if she lived the month, she could very well still be in pain all the time. There was no real choice for me; how could I expect her to live in pain? When I went in to see her the last time, she had her back to the room in (she was in an oxygen cage). That was very typical of her because she does not like other people. I said goodbye to her, petted her, and signed the papers for them to put her to sleep. When I was rubbing her chin and ears the last time, she turned her head to look at me and meowed. My heart was breaking but I am very thankful that God had given her the strength to jump up on my bed; otherwise I wouldn't have woken up when I did.

Last night was very tough. When we brought a basket in that I'd gotten from Maureen, my first thought was that we had to put it away so Ariel didn't get in it. Then when I was sleeping last night, I'd reach out thinking she was there since she always slept with me. I felt pressure on my leg right before I fell asleep. I like to think that Ariel was telling me she was okay. When I think back over the past week, I realize she had slowed down a bit although she didn't really seem sick. Goodbye Ariel, I love you.

100 Good Wishes Quilt

What is a 100 wishes quilt? It’s a tradition in northern China for mothers to make a Bai Jia Bei (aka 100 Good Wishes Quilt) from squares of fabric given by friends and family to welcome the child. The friends and family also send a wish for the baby. It is said that the quilt contains the luck and energy from everyone who contributed a piece of fabric. The adoption community has taken on this tradition for our own daughters.

Above are pictures of the quilt I made for the baby. It turned out quite large. It was so much fun getting the squares in the mail and seeing all the different fabrics that were chosen. I ended up with more than 100 so I am planning on making a second quilt. If anyone would like to send a square and wish, please let me know. I'm thinking I may make this second quilt lap-size.

Hard to believe it's been 5 years

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning? - Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

Out in the yard with your wife and children

Or working on some stage in L.A.

Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke

Rising against that blue sky

Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor

Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children who lost there dear loved ones

And pray for the ones who don't know

Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble

And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue

And the heros who died just doin' what they do

Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer

And look at yourself and what really matters

I’m just a singer of simple songs

I’m not a real political man

I watch cnn but I'm not sure I can tell you

The difference in Iraq and Iran

But I know Jesus, and I talk to God

And I remember this from when I was young.

Faith, hope and love are some good things he gave us

And the greatest is love.

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

Teaching a class full of innocent children

Or driving down some cold interstate

Did you feel guilty cause you’re a survivor

In a crowded room did you feel alone?

Did you call up your mother to tell her you love her

Did you dust off that bible at home

Did you open your eyes in hope it never happened

Close your eyes and not go to sleep

Did you notice the sunset for the first time in ages

Speak to some stranger on the street

Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow

Go out and buy you a gun

Did you turn off that violent home movie your watchin

And turn on I Love Lucy reruns

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers

Or stand in line and give your own blood

Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family

And thank god you had somebody to love

I think this song really touches me, not simply because I love country music, but because one of his lines tells exactly where I was when I heard the news. Five years ago today I was teaching kindergarten. We had just finished circle time and I was standing by the coat closet when one of my paras came and told me the news she'd heard in the office. I remember that when I was driving to work that morning I'd been thinking what a beautiful day it was and how blue the sky was. Who could have known the horror that lay just a couple hours ahead.

To all the families, friends of the victims - you're in my prayers and thoughts. God bless America.