Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Happy Birthday Jessica!!!!

Today Jessica turned 3. Last night when I asked how old she was going to be she kept trying to put up 3 fingers but couldn't get only 3 up - it was either 2 or 4. Finally, after she was supposed to be asleep, she came running into my room holding up 3 fingers and yelling "I did it, Momma!" So cute! Mike and I both had to work today so she went to Beth's who gave her a great playdoh set. Jess loves playdoh as does Jason so it will be getting a lot of use. I haven't been feeling great so I got out of work early and went to the doctor's. After that I got Jason, picked up Jess, stopped for my mom and we went to Bugaboo Creek which is one of Jess's favorite restaurants. Whenever we drive by, she wants to stop to see "The Moose". When we first got there, she wanted to be carried; it takes her a little bit to warm up to wherever she is. Pretty soon though she wanted to go see the talking animals. I'd signed her up for the birthday club so she got a free piece of cake and the waitstaff sang to her. I was amazed that she kissed the moosehead they brought over. It'd been hanging on a hook on the way to the bathroom so when we'd gone there earlier, I'd had her pet it hoping she'd be used to it by the time they brought it over. When we got home, she tried on Jason's Halloween mask. She's getting quite brave!

I cannot imagine our lives without Jessica. She has brought so much to our family. When I was rocking her last night, I thought about her birthmother. While I don't know for certain why she was unable to raise Jess, I do have my thoughts. I choose to believe that she made the decision she thought best for her baby and that she loved her very much. I found this poem on another blog that an adoptive mom wrote for her daughter's birthmother.
Beyond Your Tears
(written for Sophie Lu'sBirthmother in China)
I imagine you kissed
her sweet face so round
And gently placed her
where she would be found
I imagine your heartache
your pain and your tears
I wish I could show you
and soften your fears
I’d show you a girl
with hope in her eyes
A girl who loves stories
and sweet lullabies
A girl who laughs freely
and loves to play
A girl who sings sweetly
and dances all day
A girl with a future
So funny and smart
A girl who loves music
and reading and art
A girl who I hope
has your courage one day
I know it took courage
to love and walk away
Her beautiful smile
I wish you could see
She looks like you
and laughs like me
So, imagine her laughter
Imagine her touch
I wish I could show you
she’s loved so much
Remember her face
Remember that kiss
And when you cry,
remember this
Beyond your tears
Beyond your pain
Sometimes the sunshines
through the rain
And I know that she’ll ask me
about you one day
I’ll tell her you loved her
and wished she could stay
I’ll help her remember
and imagine you, too
when she starts to wonder
and dream about you
We’ll look at the moon
I’ll give her a kiss
and when she cries,
I’ll tell her this
Beyond your tears
Beyond your pain
Sometimes the sunshines
through the rain
by Shana Rae ,proud Mommy of Sophie Lu

1 comment:

Dan and Sharon Curry said...

Happy Belated Birthday Jess!!! You are getting so big and beautiful. Paula, I loved that poem that you posted.