Strawberry Picking


Jason was at a friend's house and Mike had a gig so Jess and I drove to Natick to Lookout Farm to go strawberry picking. It's early for the season to have started but Mother Nature is unpredictable and when she's ready, you better be ready. We had a great time picking berries and hanging out in the play area. Jess was exhausted and slept all the way home.

Waiting for the train to take us to the strawberry field.

Picking the best berries.

Looks like we got some good ones!

Climbing the haybales

Waiting for the caterpillar train ride to start. I was amazed at how many parents kept pulling their kids out of the train and dropping them back in it while it was moving. The driver kept looking back; it's amazing she didn't run over anyone's feet with how they kept getting in the way.

Bounce house

All tuckered out

Dinner - broiled chicken with spinach, strawberries and goat cheese.

Registering for preschool

Jess just misses the cutoff for kindergarten in September so I entered the lottery to get her a slot as a peer in the town's public preschool. I'd checked out a couple preschools but thought that several were overpriced, I'm not a fan of Montessori, and I think it'll be good for her (I think it's good for all kids) to be in an inclusion classroom so she plays with all types of kids so we went with our town's preschool. While checking out schools, I came across one that follows the Waldorf method. While I know Montessori works for some people, I cannot see the Waldorf method being in any child's best interest. Thankfully our kids won't have to worry about that since we couldn't afford it even if we wanted to. I love reading blogs. I read quite a number from the adoption yahoo groups I am on. I was surprised at the number of people who say they are homeschooling their toddlers. I read more of their blogs and did some google searches. It seems that I do the same things with my kids that these people do; it's just that I think of it as being an engaged parent, not necessarily homeschooling. When Jason was in preschool, his teacher said she could always tell whose parents were teachers because those kids were always further ahead. We use our car rides to sing songs and make rhymes. I read to Jason for years and we've read to Jess since we were in China. It was funny - when the EI therapist would come to see Jess, she'd start to suggest something and then say "Oh, I see you're already doing that." Jess is right where she should be for the older preschool. She's so excited to start. When we went to register her the other day, the nurse brought her to look at a classroom while I was filling out paperwork and she didn't want to leave the class. I can't believe how my little girl is growing up!!! (or that my big boy is going into 7th grade!)

Mother's Day








It was a great weekend although it is also bittersweet. Yesterday our church had a Mother's Day tea. Patricia, Michelle, Jason, Jess, my mother and I all went. They had a wonderful spread and my mom was happy to see people from church again. Because she's half an hour away, I'm not able to get her to the church as often as I'd like. The tea was at 2. We stayed about an hour which was good timing. My mom has more difficulty later in the day so we didn't want to stay too late. She wasn't as upset as usual when I brought her back to the nursing home since I was able to tell her (truthfully) that we would be seeing her on Sunday for church and tea at her favorite tea room. Nicky flew in from CA on Thursday night, getting to Tricia's on Saturday. He spent the day with her and Saturday with his friend and then came to our house Saturday night. We didn't tell my mom because I wanted her to be surprised but I was also afraid that if we told her he was coming, she would think it was immediately and would be upset when she didn't see him until Sunday. I'm learning to only give information as needed.





Michelle and Jess at the church tea on Saturday








We went to church on Sunday. Jess got up with the children's choir today. All kids are in the children's choir in our church but Jess has always refused to get up front with them. She kept looking at me but she stayed up there. After the kids were done singing, one of the little girls went down to the nursery and Jess asked to go with her. I've tried off and on to get Jess to go to the nursery without crying for the past couple of years (I won't leave her crying as I want church to be a happy place, not a place that makes her cry and she is good when she's upstairs with me; it's just that I can focus on the sermon and lessons better on my own). She went downstairs until communion when I went to get her so she could go up for the blessing. My baby's growing up!!!! After church, we went to my house to wait for my in-laws and my mom got to see that Nicky was there. She was very happy to see him. Once my in-laws got there, we went to All Things Tea which is my mom's favorite place to eat. She later told me that she doesn't really like going anywhere else to eat but there which is good because I'd already made the decision to only take her there. It's familiar, small and not as overwhelming to her as a regular restaurant. I need to keep her world small and familiar.





Nicky was looking forward to having a cornish pasty (rhymes with nasty, not tasty although they are delicious). The tea room had a set menu since it was Mothers Day but the owners are awesome and made him some pasties (they're on the regular menu). One of the owners asked if Jess the full tea or something else. Jess, being the gourmet that she is, had the regular tea. The asparagus wrapped in dough was her favorite.



Jess, myself, Nicky, my mom, my mother in law, my sister in law
The tea tray


My mom and my kids


Nicky came with me when it was time to bring my mom back to the nursing home which I appreciated. That is always the hardest part for me. She doesn't remember that she lives there and is always asking when she's going home. The activities director was there so I got to talk to her for a couple of minutes. I don't get to go during the week when the regular staff is there (that'll change once school's out) but when I see them in on the odd weekend, I make an effort to stop and talk so that they'll know who I am. The activities director said she thought the tea room would make a good outing and will take my mom on that one since her turn's coming up to go out.


The bittersweet part of Mothers Day - my mom is very rapidly getting worse. A year ago, she was able to live on her own. Now she has a very loose hold on reality. Jessica is so close to her. I worry about how Jess is going to be affected when my mother passes away. Jess has had loss in her life - she lost her birthparents, she lost her country, at some point she is going to lose the grandmother she loves so much and that makes me sad. I miss my mom. While I obviously love her and don't want her to pass away, I miss the person she was before this horrible disease ravaged her memory. I find myself buying things that are nostalgic. For example, I bought sugar wafer cookies. Mike says they're like cardboard. I had never bought those for myself before. But, they were a staple in our house growing up. I bought brown bread in a can. The nostalgia for that passed by the time I got home so it is still sitting in the can but I can't bring myself to throw it away.

Today is also a day I think of Jess's birthmother. While I will never know the exact reasons why her birthparents were unable to raise her, given what I do know I have my thoughts about it. I won't share those thoughts because it is Jess's story not mine to share or not sure. I wish there was a way to let her mother know how loved her little girl is and how I cannot imagine our family without her.

A Poem for her Birthmother by Shana
I imagine you kissed
her sweet face so round
And gently placed her
where she wuold be found

I imagine your heartache
your pain and your tears
I wish I could show you
and soften your fears

I'd show you a girl
with hope in her eyes
A girl who loves stories
and sweet lullabies.

A girl who laughs freely
and loves to play
A girl who sings sweetly
and dances all day

A girl with a future
so sunny and smart
A girl who loves music
and reading and art

A girl who I hope
has your courage one day
I know it took courage
to love and walk away

Her beautiful smile
I wish you could see
She looks like you
and laughs like me

So imagine her laughter
imagine her touch
I wish I oculd show you
she's loved so much

Remember her face
Rememberthat kiss
And when you cry
remember this

Beyond your tears
Beyond your pain
Sometimes the sun
shines through the rain

And I know that she'll ask me
about yuo one day
I'll tell her you loved her
and wishes she could stay

I'll help her remember
and imagine you, too
when she starts to wonder
and dream about you

We'll look at the moon
I'll give you a kiss
and when she cries,
I'll tell her this

Beyond your tears
Beyond your pain
Sometimes the sun
shines through the rain

Karate Tournament


Jason had his karate tournament last year. He's been doing karate with the same center since he was 4; he's now a second degree black belt. The tournament used to be in November but thankfully they've moved it to May. November was just too crazy!

Jason doing his bow staff forms. He placed 2nd in this.

Right after sparring. He placed 1st.

Proud boy

Jess at the tournament. This is the first year we thought she'd be able to sit through it. She made friends with a little boy and they kept each other entertained.

Zooquarium

It's April vacation so we decided to take a ride down to Yarmouth and visit the Zooquarium. It was a beautiful, warm day and we had a great time.

The shearer isn't due for at least another 5 weeks. This poor sheep can barely see he's got so much wool. Jason's entire finger was swallowed up by the wool on his back.


Jess is becoming more indepently social. A few months ago I don't think she would have been willing to go into the pony ring without one of us right beside her. She loved her pony ride.

Jason and Jess at the touching pool. She needed a little encouragement but Jess rolled her sleeves up and got her hands in there to touch some of the shells and the starfish.

This toadfish was going back and forth along the side. I think he thought his reflection was another fish encroaching on his territory.

Jess on the dolphin statue. She pretended she was riding it and didn't want to get off.

Taylor Mali on what teachers make

Happy Easter
Jess was up at 6:30 this morning. Jason got up soon after and we all went downstairs to see what the bunny had brought. Bunny brought way too much as usual but oh well.



We hung around for a while and then it was time to get moving. I got Jess and Jason to church while Mike went to pick up my mom at the nursing home. We all met at church and got good seats. Jason was torchbearer in the procession. We sang a couple songs I really liked. A lot of the songs we sing are rather slow and not really my favorites. Today we sang Jesus Lifted Me which I love and another which I don't know the name of but Pastor said it is a Baptist hymn. My favorite part of the service is when it's all dark - the windows are all shrouded in black fabric and there's a large black sheet spread in front of the sacristy so you can't see the altar. Right before the procession, there's a drum roll and all the fabric is torn down so light can stream in.


After church we headed to our house to wait for Patricia and Scott. My brother called from Thailand; it was nice that my mom got to talk to him for a while.

Dressed for church


After church, the kids decided to change their clothes.


Patricia, the kids, Scott and my mom ready for dinner.



Jason wearing Jess's bunny ears

After everyone left, we took a walk down to the pond to walk off our dinner and check out what the rain had done.

The part in front of Jason is a beach that's totally flooded.



Jason's standing in front of 2 ponds. There is usually a dry area behind the large tree stretching to the trees behind it but the ponds have joined with all the rain.

Jess and the Easter Bunny

We went to see the Easter Bunny today at the local shopping plaza where you can take pics with your own camera for free. They always do a great job here. Jess was excited to see him; such a difference from 2 years ago when she was absolutely terrified!

Princess Tea

I took Jess to the princess tea that was held at a local shopping plaza. The proceeds went to the local hospital's palliative care department. Everyone brought a bear to be donated to the children's bereavement group at the hospital. The princesses were awesome! They danced with the kids and there was a woman who talked to the kids about self-esteem and confidence. One of my friends got the dress for me when she was in WDW. It was beautiful but the glitter got everywhere!

Jess placing the bear we brought with the others to be donated.


Jessica and Belle from Beauty and the Beast


Jessica and Sleeping Beauty


Curtseying


Jess and Prince Charming

Happy 3rd Gotcha Day Anniversary!!

I cannot believe 3 years has passed since Jessica was placed in my arms by her ayi. The little one who cried so heartbreakingly and clung to me has grown into an independent little girl (although she knows she'll always be mommy's baby). Three years ago, Daddy could only hold her when she was sleeping or she'd scream. Now she's Daddy's Pumpkin and runs to him for hugs. It's amazing how much she has grown.

Minutes after being placed in my arms

Tonight at New Tokyo

Fun Times

Jason and I get many of our travel ideas from watching Samantha Brown; she gets to do the coolest stuff. On one of her shows, she went indoor skydiving in a vertical wind tunnel in Vegas. I thought that was so cool but figured it'll be a while before we get back to Vegas (although I'd love to go back; it was so much fun and there are many child friendly things to do). At a scrapbooking event I was at I met a woman who was scrapping pictures of her family doing indoor skydiving but it was in NH. Jason's grandparents bought him a gift card for his birthday last summer and during our break last week we finally got up there. Mike and I decided to do it as well. While Jess is technically old enough, we didn't think she'd enjoy it so she came with us but didn't do it. The instructor had me go first so that after I'd done my 2 times, they could shut the wind down for a minute and I could switch out with Mike. I was a little freaked at going first but it was wicked cool. Jess was a little freaked out watching the instructor at first and started crying that she didn't want daddy to go in there. She calmed down afterward and enjoyed watching it.

Jason suited up and ready to go

I'm floating

Up up and away with Jason

Catching Up

I keep thinking I'll be better at keeping my blog up to date but life just keeps getting in the way. For a while I couldn't open it because of the radioplayer I had on. My computer had had a virus and when we got it back, blogs with radioplayer on them shut it down. I took it off mine so I can finally get back on.

Jason's expanding his repertoire of cooking. I know a lot of people think it's not right that I don't make him eat what Mike or I are cooking if he doesn't like it but having grown up being made to eat things I hated, I just can't do that. However, I have no intention of running a restaurant so the rule is if you don't like what's for dinner, you need to make something yourself. Jason started off pouring cereal, putting tortillas and cheese together and making pb&j sandwiches when he was really little. He graduated to the microwave for pancakes, waffles and chicken nuggets. He makes frozen pizza and is now making tacos. I don't let him make the tacos or anything requiring the stove when no one else is home. One person told me that not making him eat the hot meal we cook shows him we don't really care about him. Mmmm....I don't think so.


A rare moment - playing nicely, no teasing or fighting.

Happy Valentine's Day. Jason went to a wrestling meet while Jess, Tricia and I took my mom out for tea. My mom loves the tea place in Plymouth. I tried the cornish pasty which is new there and it was really good! I think I may be going back sooner than usual to get it again. Plus I need some more sweet cranberry tea.

Jess at the tea room. She got cream cheese and strawberry jam sandwiches, grapes, strawberries, and cookies. After she ate everything, she helped me eat my dessert plate, especially the chocolate covered strawberry! When I'd originally called to make the reservations, the owner asked how many people and I said 3 adults and a child. He asked how old the child was and I said 4. There was silence and then I said that she'd been there frequently. Then he knew who I was and said he was happy we were coming in. Jess is always extremely well behaved there and the owners always give her a little something extra - more grapes, an extra sandwich, etc. This time Jess was helping me eat my chocolate strawberry and one of the owners (husband and wife couple) told me she had a chocolate strawberry on the counter that she couldn't serve because it didn't look perfect but would Jess like it. Jess was thrilled.

A Long Day

Jason joined the wrestling team for the winter term. Not my favorite sport since the chance of injury is so high but he enjoys it. At the last meet he was in, he had his sternum bruised and was out for a week. He was in the tournament today and came in 3rd place for his weight division. No injuries today except for a sore nose; another child dislocated his kneecap and was taken out by ambulance.

Today my schedule was get up at 6 and get the kids in the car so we could pull out of the driveway by 6:30. Drove 1/2 hour to the tournament. Waited for the coach to get there and then Jess and I drove back home 1/2 hour. I laid down for an hour while she played on the computer and then we drove 1/2 hour again to the tournament. We watched Jason wrestle and left at 11. Drove 1/2 hour to my mom's nursing home to take her to tea which was 1/2 an hour away in Plymouth. Had a wonderful tea at All Things Tea and got a text from Jason that he was done (about 2 hours earlier than we'd thought he'd be). Drove 1/2 hour to tournament to get him, 1/2 hour to the nursing home to drop my mom off and then 1/2 hour home. All in all, I drove about 4 hours today. If it'd been highway, it'd have been shorter but it was mostly regular streets with a much lower speed limit. I'm ready for some mindless tv tonight - thankfully I have Desperate Housewives and Worst Cooks in America to watch.

More Prayers Needed

The brother-in-law of a friend is a doctor and landed in Haiti yesterday morning for a medical mission before the earthquake hit. He hasn't been heard from since 2 pm. Please pray that he is alive, well, busy helping those who are hurt and will be able to get to a working phone soon to let his family know he is alive.


Update- Prayers work - he is home now safe and sound!

Addition to Pray for the Child Post

Here's a link to the mom's blog that tells her story. Be prepared....I was in tears reading it.

http://allysjourney.blogspot.com/

Keep praying....it's working!!!!! The mom has heard from a very good immigration lawyer who thinks she may be able to help.

The purple army is fighting to bring you home, Alyssa!!!!

Pray for the child

A woman I met on a message board went to another country (not China) to adopt a baby. She met the child, loves the child, yet had to leave the child because the agency pulled something shady. Right now nothing more can be said about what agency (except that it was not the agency we used) because she is still hoping that a miracle will happen and that the baby will be back in her arms (no chance of the baby being with her birth family so she's back in the orphanage). Prayer is strong and can work miracles. Please....light a candle, pray that this child will be granted a forever family. And for those of you who think "That's what happens when you go outside the US to adopt.", it happens in this country too. Every child deserves a loving home where they are cherished regardless of where in the world they come from. I look at my little girl snuggled on my bed sound asleep and my heart just breaks for this woman and her child.

Jess and her carseat




I spend a lot (too much!) time on Rumor Queen (that won't mean anything to anyone who's never been involved in a China adoption). As on many forum boards, there are people from all over the world discussing and debating. One discussion started about the safety of winter coats in car seats and the fact that winter coats in car seats are NOT safe. One poster who says she is a child passenger safety technician (the people who do carseat checks and can show you how to properly install the seat) said that children should definitely not be wearing bulky winter coats. She said the trick to see if your kids coat is too bulky is to put her in the seat with the coat on and tighten the harness appropriately. Then, take the coat off and buckle the harness but don't tighten it. If you can get more than a finger between the strap and the child, it's too loose. If you're in an accident and your child is wearing her coat, it may compress and your child can be expelled from the carseat. After reading this, I went online and did some research. I didn't find much about Massachusetts, but I did see that Children's Hospital of Wisconsin and Texas Department of Transportation both agree with the recommendation that the poster on Rumor Queen made. So....I decided no more bulky winter coat in the carseat. My sitter thought I was nuts. She said that it was too difficult to get kids' coats off and on in the car. I like my sitter and didn't want to have to switch, so I went online and looked for fleeces that are warm. I found a heavyweight fleece at Lands End that was in Jess's favorite color and when it came, it passed the carseat trick. So, all's well.

Something funny going on

I checked my blog and noticed that some of the words in my posts are highlighted as links. I do not do links this way so I have no idea why this has happened. The only time I do a link is if I put in the whole url. Frustrating.



10 minutes later....okay I figured it out. I downloaded babelfish so I could read an email about Jinan that was in Swedish. When I downloaded this, some ad thing got downloaded as well. I uninstalled it and it seems to be okay now.

Aggravated and Venting

Just a quick post because I'm still thinking about something from work yesterday and I know that by writing it down, it's easier to move on. And, I figure, if I can't vent in my own blog, where can I vent? I don't know how the subject started because I was working on my plans at the time but somehow they got to joking if a prostitute claims rape, is it really rape or shoplifting. I've heard these jokes from guys before but really have we fallen so low that making jokes about a violent crime against women (usually) is really funny?? I was offended and wish I'd said something but I didn't. I just don't get how people think things like this are funny; in my book, they rate up there with racist jokes which many people I know enjoy telling and I find so offensive. This is a "humor" that I just don't find humorous.

Chocolate Fondue

I got an electric fondue pot for Christmas. It is so much easier and safer than lighting sterno. Jess liked it which is nice since Mike and Jason won't eat it and I can't really make a pot for myself (okay I could, but I really, really shouldn't). Watch out boys! My baby girl is going to be an expensive date with her penchant for baked brie, poached pear and now fondue. Of course, until she's 21 (make that 31....no 41), we'll be her only dates!