Friday, May 11, 2007

The Wait

Anyone involved in international adoption knows about "The Wait". Some programs' waits are longer than others; The Wait can change at any time, either increasing or decreasing. Someone asked on another board whether people would recommend China for IA. My answer was definitely. Yes the wait is extremely long and getting longer; yes, when we signed up The Wait was 6 months from DTC; yes it is stressful not knowing exactly when you will be getting your little one. However, many other countries have long waits as well. Looking at an agency's website, I found that the Philippines has up to a 24 month wait for an infant and up to 18 month wait for a school aged child. Korea, India, and Ethiopia, among others, may have a 12 month wait for an infant. With the wait aside, I felt China was one of the most predictable, stable programs after talking to peopl who are adopting from other countries.

I went to a Waiting Families meeting at our agency last night with Jess and Jason. It's tradition that people who've been regulars at the meetings during their wait bring their baby to the first meeting they're home for. Someone asked me if I'd forgotten about the wait now that I was home. I have heard others say that once they got their baby, they couldn't remember the wait. I remember the wait just like I remember being in labor with Jason. However, when I held Jess in my arms, I understood just why I had to wait so long. It's cliche but I was waiting for her. I've said it before but I really think it was fate that everything fell into place the way it did. WHFC hadn't had a WC list for a long time; my DTC group was next to get their referrals. When I get the email that there's a new list, I decide to take a peek even though I don't plan on switching tracks (we were NSN). BAM...there she is looking at me with those oh so serious eyes. I'm on the phone requesting her file and a week later we're matched. Yes, I remember the wait and how long and stressful it was; I won't minimize that. But, when you look into your child's eyes, you'll know the wait was for a reason.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

It was so great seeing you at the meeting!! Jess is beautiful and it is obvious that Jason loves being a big brother! Thank you about being honest about the wait; I don't think I'll ever forget it but I know it's all worth it!